Lucky
Opportunity looks a lot like hard work.
Ashton Kutcher
To which some added: That’s funny, considering Ashton was discovered by a modeling agent while drinking at a bar.
Ashton Kutcher recently won an MTV Teen Choice award. Instead of a traditional thank you speech, Ashton shared:
- Opportunity looks a lot like hard work. No job is beneath you. And they are all stepping stones to the next thing you want to accomplish.
- Being smart is the sexiest thing you can do.
- All the things in life have been made by people no smarter than you. So don’t just live life; go build it.
An inspiring speech, especially for teenagers, but some were quick to point out Ashton’s lecturing about hard work, when his own career luckily began after a modeling agency discovered him drinking in a bar.
I mentioned the speech and the replies about “luck” to my wife, who wisely pointed out, “But what were the circumstances that led to him being at that bar?”
Ashton was a promising student. His brother had multiple health problems, which inspired Ashton to want to become a biochemical engineer. He was anticipating going to a school like MIT.
A foolish decision, however, led to Ashton breaking into his high school to steal money. He was caught, arrested, and put on three years probation. Many of his college prospects disappeared. He was kicked out of things like the school play and choir. His scholarships withdrawn.
But Ashton still wanted to go to college, so he enrolled at the University of Iowa as a biochemical engineer. Now without scholarship money, Ashton took on odd jobs to help pay for school like working at a General Mills plant sweeping up Cheerio dust.
A modeling talent scout did indeed spot Ashton at a bar frequented by university students. She encouraged Ashton to try modeling. Ashton entered a “Fresh Faces of Iowa” modeling contest, competing against 250 others. He won. And it included a trip to a modeling convention in New York City. Because of the probation, he had to get a judge’s permission to leave for New York. He made it to New York where he impressed quite a few agents and off went Ashton’s career.
A couple neighborhood kids where I grew up liked to tease me about my family being lucky. They let me know we didn’t deserve things they saw we had.
But these kids barely knew me. My father is a commercial real estate agent and real estate is extremely cyclical. There are some very lean years. Plenty of stress, tears and pain were behind putting me and my sister through school and helping us with our college educations.
One memory I have of my father is that he started getting home much later than usual from work. My mom simply explained, “He’s working overtime.”
After weeks of this, one day my dad came home, but this time he brought with him a new TV, our first VCR and our first microwave. These were already popular devices in the 80s, but cost prohibitive items to us. My dad had been working overtime to ensure a real estate deal could close so he’d have the money to make these purchases. We were beyond excited to now be able to rent our first movie from the video store and eat microwave popcorn while watching it.
I got to meet Ashton for a few minutes a couple years ago, but I don’t know Ashton any more than those neighborhood kids knew me. It sounds like he was a promising student who made some stupid decisions that could have ruined everything. But instead of giving up, he kept putting himself in situations, like working to go to college and entering competitions with hundreds of others, where he’d have new opportunities.
Those neighborhood kids were sort of right. I’ve been very lucky. I didn’t get to pick my parents. I didn’t get to pick the fact that they’ve been married this whole time and made such an effort to raise and educate us, even when it was such a struggle for them financially to do it. I was lucky I had them as an example.
In college, you’d find me in a computer lab at 7AM, not because I got up early, but because I had been there all night, and the night before. And would be there all night the next day again. After college, I was stuck in a job I didn’t like. I was applying to other jobs. I remember taking a software development interview test for a popular consulting company, ThoughtWorks. But I failed. So instead of going out drinking with work friends, I was constantly up until 3AM practicing my skills at software development, so one day I’d be able to pass those tests or start my own software company.
I hate that word — ‘lucky.’ It cheapens a lot of hard work. Living in Brooklyn in an apartment without any heat and paying for dinner at the bodega with dimes — I don’t think I felt myself lucky back then. Doing plays for 50 bucks and trying to be true to myself as an artist and turning down commercials where they wanted a leprechaun. Saying I was lucky negates the hard work I put in and spits on that guy who’s freezing his ass off back in Brooklyn. So I won’t say I’m lucky. I’m fortunate enough to find or attract very talented people. For some reason I found them, and they found me.
If you want to take someone’s accomplishments down a notch to make them appear just a little closer to you, that’s your choice. But when you do, you miss an opportunity to inspire yourself to be better, you miss an opportunity to inspire others to be better, you miss an opportunity to make the universe better.
All I know is that when I got into situations where I wanted to improve how I was doing in school, or my career or my business, I was “lucky” I had a father who taught me what it was like to work “overtime”.
P.S. I’d love to meet you on Twitter: here.
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