Hate The Process

The journey is the reward.

You’ve heard it a million times. Learn to love the process, not the results, and you’ll never worry again. You’ll be successful every day. Grow taller. Lose 10 pounds.

I get it. Focus on the process, which you can control, not the results, which you can’t, and you’ll feel more grounded. We humans crave control.

But the problem is, I really, really hate stuff.

Take this year’s Halloween costume. Every year, I dread going to those abandoned retail stores temporarily selling overpriced, junky costumes that won’t even last until next year. (If it even makes it to this Halloween.)

So I always think, “I’ll make my costume from scratch.”

And every year, I absolutely hate it.

A couple years ago, I was allergic to the foam or spray paint. Thank god for steroids to help get rid of the hives. This year, I stabbed myself with an X-Acto knife. It was fine. Quick bandage. Back to burning my fingers on hot glue sticks.

Building that damn costume is rough. And creates a constant mess in the house until I’m done.

Fall in love with the process, and the results will come.
Eric Thomas

Then you make it, Eric.

I could just skip Halloween. But that’s lame. I like doing Halloween stuff with friends and family. Could I spend a bunch at a fly-by-night costume shop? Sure. But no.

After years of this grind, I think I’ve figured out what keeps me going. And I realize, these tricks have helped me build companies, run 1,200 miles a year, and get through the awful parts of other projects.

Flavor Masking #

You’ve been doing this since you were a kid. Make the medicine taste like bubble gum so you’ll drink it. Pharmacists in the 1970s started using special compounds to improve the taste of bitter medicine. But we’ve been doing this since we were ancient eating honey with our disgusting plant and beetle potions.

The wellness gurus call it “stacking.” Take something you like and do the awful thing at the same time. Binge-watch your favorite show at the gym. Listen to a great podcast while you’re doing cardio.

My daughter’s choking down cough medicine as I write this. The fake cherry flavor is gross, but it’s less awful than without it.

There’s something to this.

For me, bleeding over my costume, I’m watching Hocus Pocus 2 with my wife and daughter. (The far superior film of the Hocus franchise, by the way) It distracts from the burning glue smell and the dreaded task of figuring out how to draw eyes for my dinosaur head.

I use this same trick with other stuff I don’t want to do. I love being a runner, but sometimes, I hate running. The only thing that gets me through it is a bubble gum-flavored podcast like Smartless in my ears.

Just find something even slightly more enjoyable to make it go down easier. Watch TV. Get that drink. Play the music.

Googly Eyes with Friends #

I hate drawing. So this dino costume project I’m working on has a fatal flaw: drawn eyes.

And my daughter says the eyes on the original dino project I’m mimicking from Pinterest also look kinda mean. But I don’t want a mean dino. I want this dino bringing joy.

My daughter came down and started sketching eye concepts with me. I’d riff, she’d riff. We’d even ask ChatGPT about what makes eyes look cute.

Finally, we arrived at something we both liked. And I realized that the 30 minutes I’d dreaded had actually been fun with her there.

There’s a reason a lot of investors wants startups with more than one founder. You’re going to hit “I hate this” moments, and sometimes the only way through is laughing with someone else while drawing eyeballs.

MVPs #

I could finish the costume faster, but sometimes I have to stop and show off the ridiculous progress to my family. And then I waste more time getting their help removing these god forsaken boxes off my body.

The giggles and “good jobs”s give me motivation for another hour.

We talk about making MVPs in software, mostly to minimize risk. Build small, test with customers, throw out the wrong stuff. But we don’t talk enough about how MVPs give you those “Good job!” moments. Just enough fuel to get through the other 80% that isn’t remotely ready.

Maybe MVPs should stand for Mini Victory Points.

Break To The Future #

That said, I did buy a costume last year. I was moving my mom to a nursing home, and hospice care was near.

I couldn’t bring myself to grind out another costume. Sometimes, you just need a break.

I don’t like walking during my runs, it feels like I’m letting myself down. But the alternative is hurting myself and being out for weeks, which helps reframe what I’m really doing.

Giving myself even more future chances at feeling great. It’s okay to just… not.

———

Yeah, I hear you. Love the process. It’s a great goal. But there are some processes I just plain abhor. Making a Halloween costume is one of them.

But I do it because I love the results. I love the goofy weirdness of trick-or-treating. I love being bread with my loved ones.

So I keep a few tricks up my sleeve to get through the process.